The world’s most important question #2

Are you a bad enough dude to kick this horse to death to save political prisoners?

In Chuck Klosterman’s collection of essays, “Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs,” the author asks 23 philosophical questions that demand to be answered. I originally posed these questions on my Facebook and received some excellent answers. Here is the question and the best responses I received. If you’d like to contribute, then please continue thisĀ dialogĀ in the comments section. The only rules are to be respectful of others. That is all I ask. And now, the first most important question.

2) Let us assume a fully grown, completely healthy Clydesdale horse has his hooves shackled to the ground while his head is held in place with thick rope. He is conscious and standing upright, but completely immobile. And let us assume that – for some reason – every political prisoner on earth (as cited by Amnesty International) will be released from captivity if you can kick this horse to death in less than twenty minutes. You are allowed to wear steel-toed boots.

Would you attempt this?

Mike Patton – If you freed the political prisoners by killing the horse you are only feeding a blood thirst. Unless the horse is wanting to spill his blood for the freedom of these prisoners but that is a trap because it does not change the dynamic of relationship between the prisoners and their captors. So there is no reason to attempt this.

Richard Valerius – I’d do it… with a song in my heart. Probably regardless, but certainly to free political prisoners. Regardless of what idealists imagine, no one wants to be in a third world prison.

Joseph Reynolds – Why wouldn’t you kill the horse to help people that are likely locked up for trying to help humanity. If it seems cruel I would say that it is cruel to let arguably the most noble people among us rot in a jail when you could something well within your power to help them. Kicking that horse to death would probably be the best thing I’ve ever done. And it would be a chance for my lack of compassion to help my fellow man, how often does that happen?

Michael Frizell – When I was reading this question, I kept thinking of “Equus” by Peter Schaffer. If you’re not familiar with it, and you try to Google it, you’ll get pictures of a naked Harry Potter as Radcliffe played the lead.

But I digress…

Aren’t serial killers identified by their willingness to harm defenseless animals? Would someone fighting for justice really want to create the next Hannibal Lecter to be free from a prison sentence he or she undoubtedly knew could be the result of his or her actions? I mean, c’mon, if you’re a political prisonor, you’re fighting for injustice in your country, and, let’s face it, a prison sentence for a freedom fighter is in the job description.

Ross Payton – have you guys even seen a Clydesdale horse
they are goddamn huge
it is basically impossible to kick one to death in 20 minutes
you couldn’t even hit its head with a kick
i am guessing
at least give us a bolt gun like that guy from no country for old men
that was pretty decent movie
although wtf was up with the ending
did you get that whole dream description at the end?

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4 Responses to The world’s most important question #2

  1. Joven says:

    If you eat meat, why is that even a question.
    The question really only would matter if you’re a vegetarian or vegan, but I’m not, so the fucker would die.

    People > other animals (from a human perspective anyway, the horse would probably trample you without hesitation to free all horses from captivity).

    Although I do agree with Ross, it’d be god damned hard to kick a Clydesdale to death. Maybe a few Chuck Norris style roundhouse kicks to the side of the head, but maybe even then only counting the multi-kicks per kick you get from the different camera angles and slow-mo replays.

  2. joecrak says:

    I wouldn’t do it, nor would i even be able to do it should i want to.

    I think making the question more morally ambiguous would be to switch the horse to like a puppy.

  3. Mason says:

    Well we’ve sacrificed both men and horses for less noble causes.this is at least worth a shot.

    now to kill a horse like this is really brutal but it would work. the one way to kill a horse of that strength would be to find the third rib from the bottom and begin to kick as hard as you can and as fast as you can in just that one place. this will crush ribs, puncture the lungs and kill it.

  4. Ethan Dawe says:

    No I wouldn’t do it.

    The question is meaningless however as it is so far contrived beyond reality as to tell you nothing.

    Most of these questions involve some form of killing of a person in some contrived manner to see what your morals really are or just to make you feel bad and the “philospher” asking them feel superior :-)

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